Nintendo get their funk on.

Posted on June 4, 2009 by


In accordance with this weeks e3 theme, todays article will once more focus on an announcement made by one of the big three, as reported on by the BBC website. Today, it’s the turn of Nintendo. As usual, my own comments will be in red.

Nintendo’s veteran games developer Shigeru Miyamoto has told the BBC that the firm is “not worried at all” by Microsoft and Sony’s new controllers.

They shouldn’t be, either. Everyone can see that the attempts made by MS and Sony are just the two trying to hop on the casual games bandwagon.

The Japanese firm has enjoyed huge success with its Wii console, in large part due to its motion control system.

At the E3 games show in Los Angeles, both Microsoft and Sony have shown off new control systems which aim to make gaming more accessible.

(As reported on tuesday and wednesday, respectivly.)

Mr Miyamoto said Nintendo was flattered by the approach taken by the firms.

For flattered read: ‘Laughing at their pathetic attempts to copy the console they decried as weak and silly not two years ago.’

He told BBC News: “The fact that both of those companies are looking at getting the gamer off the couch, taking advantage of motion control, and getting them to control the game by moving their body shows that they have looked at what we have done with Wii.

Now hold on. Who said anything about getting gamers off’f couches? The gamer’s natural environment is the couch!

“And now they are moving in the same direction. To that end we are very flattered,(“) he said.

Really ramming the point home, there. imitation is apparently the sincerest form of flattery, mind. (Although personally, i’d prefer some chocolate or something.)

While both the Sony and Microsoft showcases at E3 have featured new technology and techniques for motion controllers, Nintendo’s event was decidedly low key.

Because, as everyone knows, Nintendo is always low-key. If Nintendo look like thy’re slipping behind, it’s only so they can have a better run up.


Nintendo have announced a new Super Mario game

The only “new technology” on offer was a modification to the Wii controller, called the Wii Motion Plus, which was announced last year, and a pulse measuring device called Wii Vitality Sensor, although that is still in the early stages of development.

“Just as we enable you to see the centre of your body balance with Wii fit, the Wii Vitality Sensor enables you to see the information related to the inner world of your body,” said Nintendo’s chief, Satoru Iwata, at the event.

By showing you what a £5.99 wrist-worn heart monitor can, without costing £30.

There was a mixed reaction to Nintendo’s announcements.

As there would be from fans expecting a slew of announcements about new games, and fun new ways to play them.

Patrick Garratt, editor of Videogaming 24/7, said: “Nintendo’s conference was infinitely more impressive than last year’s, but I can’t help thinking a tiny, very vocal minority moulded the firm’s line-up after the reaction to the 2008 announcements.

Everything is infinitely more impressive than last year. Last year was the second of year of the ‘castrated’ e3, where the public weren’t allowed in and nothing interesting happened as a result. It’s nice to see that e3 is getting back into it’s old ways, though.

“There were a lot of calls for Nintendo to show it has learned a lesson from sticking to mass market products like Wii Music in its E3 presentation, and I’d really hoped they were above it.”

He added: “That said, it’d be churlish to be disappointed at Galaxy 2, the Wii Super Mario Bros game and Metroid.

Hold on. They have a sequel to Super Mario Galaxy, and a brand new Mario Bros game (Super Mario Galaxy was the best selling Wii game thus far), and a new Metroid game, and they decided their big announcement was going to be a chuffing controller widget!?

“It’s worth noting that the second 3D Mario title – and Miyamoto’s subsequent announcement that a Zelda Wii reveal’s likely for next year – means it’s extremely unlikely we’re going to see the back of Wii for a long time yet.”

And a new sodding Zelda!?


Nintendo is the market leader among console makers
(It should be noted that, while the 360 held first place for some time, that was because it was released a year early (Hence the red ring of death problems early on). The PS3 is closing the gap, and is currently in second place (If you don’t include the DS) in Japan (Where the 360 failed spectacularly) and most of europe. The Wii has made an astonishing showing across the board, which nobody had really expected. They assumed it was, as the generation before it, going to be an out-and-out slugfest between MS and Sony.

Mr Miyamoto said Nintendo was using its experience in motion control to perfect game experiences.

See? They have all the kidnapped Nazi scientists. They probably have Hitler’s brain in a jar somewhere…

“What we’re really focused on at this point is taking all the experience we gained over the past five years and applying that in a way that creates extremely deep game play experiences that takes advantage of motion control,” said Mr Miyamoto.

Because they haven’t done that already?

“Based on the announcements we’ve seen here [from Microsoft and Sony] they are still in the initial stages and are trying to create experiences that at this point don’t seem like they have the type of depth that we’re able to provide with Wii Motion Plus.”

“Our conole is a motion sensing porshe, yours is a reliant robin.”

Nintendo also showcased a number of titles at the event, including Metroid: Other M, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, Kingdom Hearts 358/2, and a new James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club game on DS.

Also on offer – after a four year absence – were two new Mario games: Super Mario Galaxy 2 and New Super Mario Brothers Wii.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 features giant worlds (such as those found in Super Mario Bros 3) and is a follow up to the first 3D Mario Galaxy; New Super Mario Brothers Wiii is a four player take on the classic 2D Mario found on the SNES and N64 with a very retro feel.

I don’t want to spoil the story for you, but I’m guessing that the dastardly Bowser will *Shock, horror* kidnap Princess Peach! I know, you weren’t expecting it, but hey,Nintendo are known for their diverse and challenging storylines. /Sarcasm.

Come to that, I can safely bet that in the new Zelda game, the dastardly Gannon kidnaps Princess Zelda! And Link must find the master sword! And activate the tri-force!

I’ll be honest, if anyone knows how best to make money by selling people exactly the same every three years, it’s nintendo. And yet nobody seems to care.

Mr Miyamoto denied that he was re-inventing the wheel.

Oh! And pokemon. The next pokemon game will feature you having to capture these weird little monsters, enslave them to your will, force to murder each other, and slowly defeat all the other murderous slave-trading nutters. There will also be a themed team of so-called ‘villians’ trying to thwart you, for some convoluted reason or another that involves some hitheto-unknown legendary creature that could destroy the world. Gosh.

Also, don’t re-invent the wheel. The wheel is fine the way it is. Round.

“People may mistake the game as a straight port of Super Mario Brothers Nintendo DS. This is an all new game. The levels are not the same, it’s all new content.

He lied. I’m calling it first, guys.

“I think the idea of taking a four player element of a classic game adds a new element of fun to the Super Mario Brothers series we have not seen before,” he said.

Because sidescrolling platformers need four players. This will not end well…

Posted in: Games