Here there be spoilers. Beware. Seriously. Also bitching and moaning. Beware of that also.
Okay? If you keep reading, anything you see is your own fault.
Alright then, let’s get on with it.
So this Cole Phelps guy, the guy I, you and everyone else who bought LA Noire play the game as. He’s a nice guy. He goes out of his way to make the world a better place after having a number of unpleasant experiences in the war. He makes jokes, he’s funny. He’s a determined and hard working cop. He’s smart. And three-quarters of the way into the game, he cheats on his wife with a German singer called Elsa. And suddenly I hated the guy. I didn’t just hate him, I was angry- furious, even- at what had transpired. My original thought was that maybe it wasn’t what it looked like. Nothing explicit is ever shown. But then it gets in the press. Compromising photographs. He doesn’t deny it.
And so he gets his ass busted down from the best job in the game- Vice, down to the worst- Arson. He loses his wife, his kids, the respect he’s earned. And I’ve lost something, too. My motivation to play. And I’m sorry, but when a great game (and it really is great, i’ll do a proper review later) turns around and slaps me with a mood whiplash so strong it completely turns off of the game, even for a little while, something has gone seriously wrong.
If it had been any other rockstar game, it would have been okay. That’s the strange thing. I had about seven girlfriends in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, because each one offered unique and useful in-game benefits. In Bully, I set Jimmy about making out with anything that walked, boy or girl, because it was always funny to watch Jimmy get attacked by a number of jealous lovers. In Red Dead Redemption, it’s impossible to engage in romance with anyone- John Marston was a married man, but in RDR, I really, really wanted him to cheat on his wife.
I’ll explain that one. In Red Dead, one of the first people you actually meet is Bonnie MacFarlane. Bonnie’s pretty. She’s smart. She’s tough. She’s funny. Shes understanding. In short- she’s all the things Abigail Marston isn’t. On top of that, she’s the only woman you interact with in any great detail untill the final chapter of the game, when John is reunited with his wife and son. Bonnie was in love him. I was in love with Bonnie. I wished John had been. Sometimes I imagine he was, and was simply sparing her the inevitable outcome of his violent, tragic life. In RDR, this simple, honest farmgirl had far more emotional impact than John’s (nonexistent for 90% of the game) wife ever did.
In LA Noire, You see Cole’s wife even less than you saw John Martson’s. She appears in the opening cutscene, and then, briefly, shortly after Cole’s adultery comes to light. I have no emotional attachment to this woman. I couldn’t care less about her, and even less than that about Cole’s daughters, who we never see at all. We see Cole with the singer three times, and only once do they exchange dialogue, during an actual investigation.
So really, I don’t care about the people he’s cheating on or with. What annoys me, what upsets me, is that the whole damn thing is so completely out of character for Cole. There’s no kind of hint that he’s not happy with his marriage, and while we see him visit the club to watch the singer once or twice, nothing is ever made of it until Cole follows her home in the Vice chapter (stalking) and just walks in and has sex with her. It comes (please excuse the pun) more or less out of nowhere, and it turned an incredibly charismatic, likeable guy into a glory-hound scumbag. I dunno, that gets my dander up. There are so many ways it could have worked better. Would it have been so hard to include brief scenes of Cole coming home after cases? Seeing his wife, reading a book to his girls. Hell, i’d even take seeing some development between him and the singer.
I wanted Cole to be the first Rockstar game character I played who was a good man. And it just didn’t happen. He disappointed me. Oh well, he’s dead now. As I said, I think this is a really great game, but in the midst of the greatness is this horrible crappy little sub-plot that could have been so much better.
Spell Checked* 3.0 
Steve
May 25, 2011
I can understand your reasons. Cole is frequently disliked by many people for many reasons; in the game, it comes down to annoyance at his unwavering diligence and by-the-book persona. If it weren’t for his astounding detective skills, I doubt he would have made many friends to begin with.
Anyways, I found the romance in this game to be incredibly interesting. You’ll notice that throughout the game, they very rarely go into details about the mushy stuff, and I find that leaves much more room for viewer interpretation and insight. You may argue Cole is simply a glory loving cop with a taste for German “ingenuity”, but in my eyes he is a man tormented by his burdens, insecurities, and vices. Cole didn’t mean to be a jerk and cheat on his wife. He fell in love, which I think would be obvious if he stuck with Elsa for so long even after the break up.
I find Cole to be an extremely sypathetic character, yet another protagonist Rockstar aced.
Jordan
June 1, 2011
These are almost exactly my thoughts. At first I don’t realise that he had actually cheated until the other npc’s started discussing it and Cole wasn’t denying it. It wasn’t enough for me to put down the game, but i certainly lost a lot of respect for our protagonist. As you say, the game didn’t make it clear enough as to why he’d cheat. I never felt that there was any trouble in his marriage. I thought that the game was good overall, but perhaps Rockstar could’ve done a better job with Cole.
Nathan
June 2, 2011
Heard. That.
I JUST passed this part in the game, and I’m horribly disappointed… Phelps is far from the “justice by any means”, hardass, awesome character that John Marston is, but like you said, he was genuine. A real good guy. These days, protagonists no longer have to be “good people” (i.e. Marston), they just have to be less evil than the other guy. It was refreshing to meet Cole Phelps. Until this… Just one of those blemishes we’ll have to live with because some asshole thought he had to make the character a sleazebag.
Dacloo
June 19, 2011
Amen. I had to Google a site about it and found your post. I totally agree. I think it is a huge oversight from the writers.
Actually I forgot I’ve seen my wife in the intro so I was under the impression I didn’t have one. Until in the car someone was talking at me and Cole responded with “I got a wife”. I was like, Huh?
Why didn’t they add some scenes where Cole ate with his wife and kids, tuck them too bed? Why didn’t we have “home” on the map? Even just to sleep, read the latest newspapers and see my family?
Instead Cole Phelps didn’t come home for weeks (all those cased….) but after this weirs German fling, my wife had compromising pictures? That was too easy!
John
July 15, 2011
Just because he made a mistake doesn’t make him a bad person, sure he screwed up with that “German junky whore” but still, he was a great detective, just what the department needed. Personally he’s my favorite character and this is my favorite game.
barliesque
August 2, 2011
I have to admit I agree. The adultery thing just appeared out of nowhere. I wasn’t quite sure it was for real, as opposed to Roy flat out framing Cole.
Having just completed the game, I think what we really needed to see was a little of the emotional scars the war left him with. The wife and kids couldn’t have understood that side of him, and feeling existentially alone, Cole seeks comfort elsewhere. …this would make sense, if only it were included in the story.
jason
September 8, 2011
I have to admit, coming in I thought I would completly disagree because Cole is probably my favorite protagonist of the year. However, having recently played the game, I can remember my first thought when I got to the demotion to arson. It was that he had instantly lost what little respect I could have for a video game character. It took at least a case, maybe two, before I was back on his side. But even then it was because I kept thinking “All he wants to do is make the city a better place.” A thought made invalid by his statement, “I’m going to make this case, and I’m going to rub the deptartments nose in it.” Later in the game, he turns from the only honest cop and an example of honor, to a man burdened by his vice desperatly trying to regain his glory. Its even then that he’s my favorite character and this is probably on of my favorite video games of all time.
sashana
September 26, 2011
Personally Cole is my favorite charcter of the year and in the game he is cute and a good detective.
gonna be honest was rather a little dissapointed to hear he had an affair
Jordan Liddell
October 29, 2011
I agree with you 100%! I even got to the point of looking for a site that explains how someone else hated him too (which lead me here!). As soon as he got demoted, I put the game down for a good 5 days. I wasn’t going to play it at all, except I’d been looking forward to the game for so long, I *had* to finish it. If it weren’t for my own satisfaction of completing the game, I’d never have picked it back up.
Kristina
March 12, 2012
I was reading about the game online, right? And it says the intentions were to make LA Noire out to be like the old 1940s movies. They drew from the elements of classic movies, including “crime, sex, and moral ambiguity.” It wouldn’t have felt like a real noir-film if there wasn’t a little moral ambiguity. Also, it was speculated that Cole may have been already seeing Elsa before we found out about it. He DID go to the club to watch her sing quite often. It was enough for him to be on good terms with the owner, so what does that tell you? Their first affair may very well have happened offscreen. Then again, it could have just been the writer’s fault. There’s this thing called “character derailment.” That’s when a character exhibits behavior contrary to what has previously been shown. This just means that it was a fail on the writers’ part.
But in my opinion, Cole and Elsa were already having an affair before it was revealed to us that they were. I think Rockstar might have been trying to hide it a little to much, so that it was easy to overlook. When you go back and look at the scenes where he’s watching her sing, it kind of implies that something’s going on. Why else would he go by himself, without his wife? And also, if you recall, when Rusty is trashtalking Cole’s wife, all Cole has to say to defend her is “She’s the mother of my children.” That right there implies that he’s with her for the kids, not because of love. That in itself could have been cause for an affair. Maybe they wanted the players to pick up on it on their own.
King33
March 19, 2012
I think you hit the nail right on the head, he definitely was already cheating with Elsa… I just got to that part lastnight and I was shocked and didn’t want to believe it and typed in Cole Phelps has sex and lead me here….your answer makes the most sense
Travon333
May 22, 2012
I think the main reason he cheated with Elsa is revealed towards the end. Elsa confides in Fontaine that she’s kicking her drug addiction thanks to Phelps and he is lowering his standards of being so perfect that he can’t make any mistakes. Throughout the cutscenes it was obvious that during the War Phelps deliberately was slow on orders in order to avoid killing people. And in the end is the only one in the unit he commanded that survived thus receiving the star. He obviously feels guilt over his cowardice and builds up a superhuman perspective of a hero. When he returns home, he finds it hard to confide in his wife his feelings and he obviously is still under emotional distress. When the cheating does come out his only explanation to his wife is you don’t know what I’ve been going through which further suggests his emotional state in the crapper. With him able to confide in Elsa, it was only a matter of time before their fondness became sexual tension that climaxed when he cheated. Me personally I was confused as to why Phelps cheated until he tried to express to his wife his guilt and it was this he also has some form of Post- Traumatic stress and Elsa. In the end I think he redeems his self conscious by apologizing to Kelso and saving both Kelso and Elsa in the tunnel
ani0227
June 10, 2012
anyone else notice that when he was asked (by roy, i think) what his type was he said blondes even though his wife is definitely not blonde.
ani0227
June 10, 2012
i was in denial at first. i was like maybe we’re misinterpretting him visiting her so late at night.lmao what else could they have been doing… playing chinese checkers? lol that communist stuff right there.
Simar Notra
June 26, 2012
You find out that the reason he cheated on his wife with Elsa is because Elsa was the only one who he could talk to. He’s had many bad experiences and the only one who he could share them with was elsa, who also had a drug problem. They found out they could confide and comfort each other and fell in love.
Sashana
February 12, 2013
After playing this game over-and-over again i’ve finally come to understand why Cole did what he had done. I felt let down at the start but from becoming fully aware of the actions he took and the consequences after i see he decided to go off with Elsa because (Roy is partly to blame as i feel he was trying to ruin Cole’s career from the beginning i just got this vibe when they first met) he desperately needed someone who understood where he was coming from even if she was a singer. After a couple of missions i’d gained respect for Cole again which allowed to enjoy the game which just happens to be my favorite. Overall Cole was a good man. Hoping a 2nd game comes out.